Sensory Needs, Picky Eating, and Occupational Therapy: What Parents Need to Know

If you've ever watched your child run, jump, crash into the couch, struggle with loud noises, or refuse nearly everything you put on their plate, you've probably wondered what is going on.

Is this typical childhood behavior? Is there something sensory-related happening? Should I be concerned? And, perhaps most importantly, what can I actually do to help?

As parents, we spend a lot of time trying to understand our children. We notice the things that seem harder for them than they are for other kids. We look for strategies, ask questions, and try to figure out whether there's something we're missing.

But you don't have to figure everything out on your own.

In a recent episode of Parenthood Unscripted, I sat down with Jenny Wheeler, pediatric occupational therapist and founder of Wheeler Occupational Therapy, to talk about sensory processing, feeding challenges, occupational therapy, and what it looks like to support children in everyday life.

Our conversation was full of practical ideas, but one of the biggest takeaways was this: understanding your child's needs isn't about making them fit a particular mold. It's about learning what helps them feel comfortable, participate, and experience success.

Let's talk about what that can look like.

What does pediatric occupational therapy actually address?

When people hear occupational therapy, they often think about handwriting, cutting with scissors, or other fine motor skills. Those are important areas of OT, but they are only part of the picture.

Pediatric occupational therapy can address skills and experiences that affect a child's ability to participate in everyday activities. Depending on the child's individual needs, that may include sensory processing, regulation, feeding, positioning, coordination, and fine motor development.

Jenny shared that one of the areas she especially enjoys is sensory processing and helping children get their bodies to a place where they feel more comfortable and ready to engage.

She also incorporates skills into play rather than expecting every therapy activity to happen at a table.

For example, a child might move through an obstacle course, swing, explore a sensory bin, and then lie on their stomach to color. These activities can provide opportunities to work on movement, body awareness, positioning, strength, and fine motor skills.

The goal isn't simply to complete an activity. It's to support the child in developing skills that are meaningful in their everyday life.

And that's an important distinction: therapy should be connected to the child, their needs, and the activities that matter to them.

Understanding sensory processing

Sensory processing refers to how we take in and respond to information from our bodies and the environment.

For some children, certain sensations or experiences can be particularly difficult to manage. Others may seek out more movement or physical input than the adults around them expect.

Jenny described children who seem to be constantly moving, running, crashing into things, or having difficulty slowing down. In some cases, these behaviors may be related to the kind of sensory input their bodies are seeking.

Other children may have a harder time with loud sounds, unexpected sensations, or particular textures.

These experiences can look very different from one child to another. That's why it's important to look at the individual child rather than assuming every child who moves constantly or avoids a sound has the same underlying need.

What might sensory needs look like in everyday life?

Sensory differences may show up during familiar parts of the day, including:

• After school: Your child seems unable to slow down after spending the day in a structured environment.

• During play: Your child frequently jumps, climbs, crashes, or seeks intense movement.

• In public places: Hand dryers, toilets, crowded environments, or other sounds feel overwhelming.

• During daily routines: Certain textures, clothing, grooming activities, or other sensations cause significant discomfort.

• When it's time to focus: Your child seems sluggish or has difficulty getting engaged in an activity.

These examples aren't a checklist for diagnosing a sensory processing difficulty. They're possible starting points for noticing patterns and asking questions.

Consider what happens before the behavior, what your child seems to be communicating, and how the experience affects their participation in everyday activities.

If something consistently feels difficult for your child or family, an occupational therapist can help you explore what might be contributing and whether additional support would be helpful.

Helping a child who is constantly moving

One of the examples Jenny discussed was a child who runs, crashes, and seems to have a difficult time slowing down.

For a child who seeks a lot of movement and physical input, simply telling them to sit still may not address what they need in that moment.

Jenny described using playful activities such as obstacle courses, jumping, crawling, and animal movements to provide opportunities for movement and body awareness.

For example, a parent might create a simple obstacle course that involves jumping to a marker, crawling to another spot, and moving like an animal.

The important part is paying attention to the individual child and how they respond.

More activity isn't automatically better. Jenny emphasized noticing signs that a child may be becoming overwhelmed, such as increased vocal volume, stumbling, or beginning to cry. Those may be cues to pause and shift to something calmer.

Depending on the child and the situation, a quieter activity, a slower movement experience, or an offer of a comforting hug may be more appropriate.

Jenny also highlighted the importance of giving children choices when possible. Asking whether a child wants space or a hug can help them communicate what feels comfortable to them.

The right approach depends on the child, their needs, and the circumstances. An OT can help families identify appropriate strategies and learn how to adjust them.

What if my child is sensitive to sounds or textures?

Not every uncomfortable experience needs to be labeled as a sensory issue for it to deserve attention.

Jenny made an important point during our conversation: when a child communicates that something is bothering them, we should listen.

Think about a child who becomes distressed by an automatic hand dryer in a public bathroom. Maybe the sound is startling. Maybe the child anticipates the noise and becomes anxious before it even happens. Whatever the reason, their discomfort is worth taking seriously.

The first step isn't necessarily to convince them that the sound shouldn't bother them. It's to understand the difficulty and consider what support might help.

Start with support, not pressure

Depending on the child and the situation, strategies might include:

• Allowing the child to use noise-reducing headphones.

• Preparing them for an unfamiliar sound or experience.

• Using a visual explanation or social story to help them understand what to expect.

• Identifying adjustments that make an activity more manageable.

• Working with an OT to determine whether gradual changes in support are appropriate.

Jenny shared an example of using headphones and other accommodations to help a child feel more comfortable using public bathrooms, with the possibility of gradually adjusting those supports as the child becomes more confident.

That doesn't mean every child needs to work toward tolerating every sound or sensation. The goal should be individualized and meaningful, not to eliminate a child's differences simply because they make other people uncomfortable.

Sometimes the most appropriate support is an accommodation that remains in place.

The bigger takeaway is that we can honor a child's experience while helping them access the activities and environments that matter to them.

Picky eating: How can we make mealtimes less stressful?

Feeding was another major part of our conversation, and it's an area that can bring a lot of stress to families.

Maybe your child eats only a handful of foods. Maybe they refuse vegetables, struggle with certain textures, or become upset when something unfamiliar appears on their plate.

You may worry about whether they're getting enough variety or whether you're doing something wrong.

Jenny works with children who have a range of feeding needs, from selective eating to more complex feeding challenges. She emphasized the importance of looking at each child individually and helping families create more positive experiences around food.

One particularly important reminder: pressure isn't the same thing as progress.

Requiring a child to eat a food before leaving the table may create a stressful experience without helping them become more comfortable with that food.

Instead, Jenny described using small portions, preferred and less-preferred foods, playful exploration, and opportunities for children to participate in preparing or handling food.

Practical ways to support lower-pressure food exploration

Here are some ideas inspired by Jenny's approach:

1. Keep portions small.

A large serving of an unfamiliar food can feel intimidating. Offering a tiny amount can make the experience feel more manageable.

2. Include familiar foods.

Having foods your child already accepts can help make a meal feel more predictable. Exploration doesn't have to mean removing everything they feel comfortable eating.

3. Allow interaction without requiring a bite.

Depending on your child's needs, exploring food might begin with looking at it, touching it with a utensil, helping prepare it, or simply having it nearby.

4. Involve your child.

Age-appropriate opportunities to wash, arrange, cut, or serve foods may help children become more familiar with them. The level of involvement should be appropriate for the child and safe for the task.

5. Keep the experience as positive as possible.

Avoid turning every interaction with a new food into a test. A child may need repeated opportunities before they're willing to try something, and they may ultimately decide they don't like it.

6. Remember that children are individuals.

Jenny shared that her own children have very different eating preferences, despite receiving similar opportunities and strategies. One child may be adventurous with food while another is much more selective.

That doesn't automatically mean you've done something wrong.

It's also important to recognize that persistent or severe feeding difficulties can require more than general strategies. If you're concerned about your child's nutrition, growth, ability to eat safely, or extremely limited food intake, talk with your child's healthcare provider and ask whether a feeding evaluation is appropriate.

A feeding professional can help determine what type of assessment and support may be needed.

You don't have to be your child's therapist, too

This was one of the parts of our conversation that I think many parents will recognize.

Jenny talked about how her experience as a parent has shaped the way she works with families. She understands the professional side of supporting children, but she also knows what it's like to be the parent who needs support.

She shared that parents cannot be their child's parent or caregiver and also be responsible for functioning as their nurse, OT, PT, and teacher.

Read that again.

When your child receives services, it's easy to feel like you should know every strategy, follow through on every recommendation, coordinate every appointment, communicate with every provider, and somehow keep everything else in your life moving.

You want to help. You want to do what's best for your child. And sometimes that desire can turn into a tremendous amount of pressure.

But you are not failing your child because you don't know how to address every challenge.

You are allowed to ask professionals to explain their recommendations. You're allowed to ask which strategies matter most. You're allowed to explain when something isn't realistic for your family right now.

Your child's team should be helping you understand your child's needs and supporting you in ways that are practical and meaningful.

Home strategies can be valuable, but they should be discussed in the context of your child's needs and your family's capacity. You don't need to turn every moment at home into a therapy session.

You get to be their parent.

What if I'm not sure whether my child needs support?

Sometimes parents notice something and immediately recognize that they need help. Other times, they're unsure.

Maybe your child seems to struggle more than their peers with everyday activities. Maybe meals are consistently stressful. Maybe certain sounds or textures interfere with routines, or your child seems to have difficulty regulating their body.

You don't need to arrive at an appointment with a diagnosis or a complete explanation of what's happening.

Start by describing what you're noticing.

Consider:

• What situations seem especially difficult for your child?

• How often does it happen?

• Does it interfere with everyday routines, participation, or family activities?

• What seems to help, even a little?

• What are you most concerned about?

These observations can help you have a more productive conversation with your child's healthcare provider or an occupational therapist.

If you decide to pursue an evaluation, you can ask what it will involve, what areas will be assessed, and how the results might guide support.

And remember, seeking an evaluation doesn't mean you've decided something is wrong with your child. It means you're looking for information to better understand their needs.

Trust your instincts, and let yourself receive support

Near the end of our conversation, Jenny shared a message for parents that I think deserves to be repeated: trust your gut, don't be afraid to advocate for your child, and remember that there are people who can support you.

I couldn't agree more.

You know your child in ways that no one else does. You see them during the ordinary moments that don't always show up in a therapy session, an evaluation, or a school meeting.

Your observations matter.

That doesn't mean you have to interpret every behavior or determine the right intervention yourself. It means you can share what you're noticing, ask questions, and work alongside professionals who have the training to help.

You can advocate for your child and still be learning.

You can be informed and still feel overwhelmed.

You can want the best for your child and still need someone to help you figure out the next step.

Those things can all be true at the same time.

Listen to the full conversation

In this episode of Parenthood Unscripted, I sat down with Jenny Wheeler, pediatric occupational therapist and founder of Wheeler Occupational Therapy, to talk about sensory processing, feeding challenges, play-based strategies, and the realities of supporting children as both a professional and a parent.

Jenny brings more than a decade of experience working with children and families, including 11 years at Mary Cariola Children's Center, community-based preschool therapy, and teaching as an adjunct professor at Nazareth University.

She now supports children and families through her own practice, with a focus on helping children develop skills that support their participation and independence in everyday life.

If you're navigating sensory needs, picky eating, or questions about occupational therapy, I hope this conversation helps you feel a little more informed and a little less alone.

Listen to the newest episode of Parenthood Unscripted wherever you get your podcasts tomorrow.

And if you take one thing away from this conversation, let it be this: you don't have to have all the answers to be the parent your child needs. Sometimes, the most important step is recognizing when you need support and allowing yourself to receive it.