When Something Doesn't Feel Right: How to Recognize Reading Struggles and Advocate for Your Child

As parents, we spend a lot of time questioning ourselves.

Am I overreacting?

Should I just give it more time?

Maybe the teacher is right...

If you've ever had that nagging feeling that something isn't quite clicking for your child but you couldn't explain exactly what it was. you are far from alone.

In this week's episode of Parenthood Unscripted, I sat down with Melissa, a special education teacher and Wilson Reading instructor, to talk about dyslexia, reading challenges, and one of the most important tools parents have: their instincts.

As we talked, I found myself reflecting on my own journey as both a speech-language pathologist and a mom.

Because here's the truth...

Being the professional doesn't make it any easier when it's your own child.

I Knew Something Was Different

My younger son has always loved books.

He was reading well.

His teachers weren't concerned.

But something kept bothering me.

He couldn't spell.

He struggled to hear individual sounds in words.

He missed sounds when writing.

His handwriting was messy, and despite being incredibly bright, some foundational literacy skills just weren't developing the way I expected.

We pursued testing.

The results?

He didn't qualify for services.

On paper, everything looked fine.

But as his mom, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

Eventually, we found Melissa.

Today, his spelling has improved dramatically. His handwriting has transformed. Most importantly, his confidence has grown.

That experience reminded me of something I tell families every day: Parents know their children better than anyone else.

Reading Struggles Aren't Always Obvious

One of the most eye-opening parts of our conversation was Melissa's explanation of how children often become incredibly skilled at hiding their struggles.

Many children compensate in ways adults don't immediately recognize.

They memorize books instead of decoding words.

They guess based on pictures.

They watch classmates before answering.

They avoid reading aloud.

From the outside, everything may appear perfectly fine.

Until one day, the workload increases, those coping strategies stop working, and suddenly school becomes much more difficult.

This is why so many reading challenges don't fully emerge until second or third grade.

It's not because they suddenly developed a disability.

It's because the demands of school finally exceeded the strategies they had been using to compensate.

Signs Parents Should Watch For

Every child develops differently, and not every struggling reader will show the same signs. However, Melissa shared several common indicators that parents should pay attention to:

• Reading sounds slow, choppy, or laborious.

• Difficulty remembering sight words despite repeated practice.

• Reading accurately but struggling to explain what was read.

• Frequent spelling errors that don't improve over time.

• Persistent letter or number reversals.

• Handwriting that remains unusually difficult.

• Avoiding reading altogether.

• Becoming frustrated or emotional during homework.

None of these signs automatically mean a child has dyslexia.

But they do mean it's worth asking more questions.

The Difference Between Waiting and Watching

One thing I appreciated about Melissa's perspective is that she isn't advocating for panic.

She's advocating for observation.

There is a difference.

Young children are developing rapidly.

Kindergarten and first grade involve enormous growth.

Children learn at different rates.

But there also comes a point when progress should be happening.

If your child receives intervention but their progress remains stagnant, it's appropriate to ask:

What's next?

Too often, families hear:

"They'll catch up."

"They just need more practice."

"Let's wait another year."

Sometimes that is appropriate.

Sometimes it isn't.

The key is making decisions based on data, not assumptions.

Ask to see progress monitoring.

Ask what intervention is being used.

Ask how your child's growth compares over time.

Advocacy begins with curiosity.

Labels Don't Define Children

As both moms and professionals, Melissa and I talked openly about how difficult labels can feel.

No parent wants to hear that their child has a disability.

No parent wants their child reduced to a diagnosis.

But we also acknowledged an important reality.

Labels don't define children.

They open doors.

They help educators understand how to teach.

They allow children to access specialized instruction.

They create opportunities for support.

The goal isn't the label.

The goal is making sure children receive what they need to thrive.

Why Specialized Instruction Matters

One of the biggest misconceptions about reading intervention is that all reading instruction is the same.

It isn't.

Melissa explained that children with dyslexia and other language-based reading difficulties often require instruction that is:

• Explicit

• Systematic

• Structured

• Multisensory

These approaches teach reading differently than many traditional classroom programs.

The right instruction can completely change a child's confidence, not because the child changed, but because the teaching finally matched the way they learn.

You Are Allowed to Ask Questions

If there's one message I hope every parent takes away from this conversation, it's this:

You do not have to wait until everything falls apart before asking questions.

You are allowed to ask your child's teacher how they're progressing.

You are allowed to request data.

You are allowed to ask what interventions are being used.

You are allowed to ask whether those interventions are working.

And if the answer is no...

You are allowed to ask what happens next.

Advocacy isn't about being confrontational.

It's about making informed decisions for your child.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

One of the biggest reasons I started sharing educational content online is because I remember how overwhelming all of this felt, even as a professional.

Parents shouldn't have to figure everything out on their own.

If you're preparing for school meetings this fall and want to feel more confident advocating for your child, I'd love to invite you to my FREE live workshop:

How to Walk Into Your Child's IEP Meeting Calm, Prepared & Confident

📅 Friday, August 14

🕑 2:00 pm EST

We'll talk about how to prepare before the meeting, what questions to ask, and how to leave feeling confident that your voice was heard.

And if today's topic resonated with you, be sure to listen to my full conversation with Melissa on this week's episode of Parenthood Unscripted.

Because sometimes, the most important thing a parent can do is trust what they already know:

You know your child.

And your instincts matter.